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Homer Jay Simpson (voiced by Dan Castellaneta) is one of the main characters in the animated television series The Simpsons. The father of the Simpson family, Homer is overweight, lazy, gluttonous, and none too bright. His behaviour is often oafish, clumsy, and insensitive, but he still remains lovable. Over the years he has become one of the notable dads in television and the possible template for most bumbling albeit well-meaning fathers.

Overview

Homer works in the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant, in Sector 7G, although "working" in this case refers largely to dozing and eating doughnuts. He spends a great deal of his time at Moe's Tavern with his lifelong friends Barney, Carl, Lenny, and bartender Moe. At home he is often to be found sitting on the sofa mindlessly watching TV while snacking on comfort foods and drinking cans of Duff Beer.

Homer Simpson popularized the annoyed grunt "D'oh!" (made memorable through Dan Castellaneta's distinctive voice work), which began as an abbreviated form of Jimmy Finlayson's "Dooooh" from the films of Laurel and Hardy. This modern interjection has found enough popular acceptance to be included in the Oxford English Dictionary.

Family

Homer was born in Springfield, where he grew up (though one episode suggests he was born in Toronto, Canada; see Age below). Homer is:

  • the second son of Abraham Simpson and first son of Mona Simpson (sometimes refered to as Penelope Olson)
  • the husband of Marjorie Bouvier
  • the father of Bart, Lisa and Maggie
  • the half-brother of Herb Powell, whose mother was a carnival worker Abraham had a tryst with while she was passing through Springfield.
  • the half-brother of "Abbie", the daughter of a woman whom Abraham met while stationed in Britain during World War II.

Age

It has been suggested in the series that Homer is between 36 and 39 years old. In one episode, a quiz indicates he will die at 42 and he wails that he has "only three years to live" (it should be noted that Homer or Marge's mental arithmetic may not be reliable). Various episodes have given his date of birth as 12 January 1956, 12 May 1956, 10 May 1955, and 20 March 1955; and even 17-23-1956 [sic] (the former holiday Whacking Day is also on May 10, which causes Homer's birthday to go uncelebrated — even by Homer; it should also be noted that in a later episode only Homer remembers his birthday, claiming it the same day as Santa's Little Helper's; although there is no evidence that any of the Simpsons were present at Santa's Little Helper's birth). In "Treehouse of Horror XI", Homer claims his astrological sign is Taurus while reading the horoscope section of a newspaper. This sign corresponds to anyone born between April 20th and May 20th, which would make any birthdates not between those dates invalid, thus May 12 is most likely the correct date.

Address

Homer and his family probably live at 742 Evergreen Terrace, Springfield. Several alternative house numbers on Evergreen Terrace are given in various episodes, including 59, 94, 723, 743, 763, and 1094, in addition to 430 Spalding Way. In the 299th episode Homer's email address was given to be chunkylover59@aol.com. The email address in question belongs to Homer Simpsons and could at one time be emailed to receive Homer style replies, although at the request of the Simpsons production staff this has been halted.

Personality

Homer's essential personality traits presented themselves early on. He was raised solely by his father after the approximate age of 11. Homer slid through his classes and apparently graduated despite not passing Remedial Science until some twenty-plus years later. His senior yearbook reveals a lack of interest in sports and activities, and his quote was "I can't believe I ate the whole thing." In high school, Homer fell in love with Marge Bouvier, whom he would later marry (though both would later learn they had first met while children at summer camp). Following the completion of Remedial Science, Homer entered Springfield Heights Institute of Technology and graduated due solely to illicitly changed grades. His education was further buttressed by Clown College, Bodyguard School, Successmanship 101, the Lanley Institute of Monorail Conducting, and mandatory Family Skills courses.

His minute attention span complements his intense (albeit short-lived) passion for hobbies, enterprises or causes. Although by nature an exceedingly lazy man, he is capable of exerting tremendous effort toward something, if only for a week or less. Good examples are when he converted his garage into a bar, just to spite his local bartender Moe Szyslak; spent a whole episode studying and emulating Thomas Edison; and attempted to uncover a plot to trade Springfield's baseball team interstate by going on a hunger strike. These massively spirited endeavours can be triggered by almost nothing, as evidenced by his short-lived grease collection business.

"Jerkass Homer" Controversy

Among fans who feel The Simpsons has jumped the shark, one instance frequently pointed out is Homer's characterization having devolved, becoming more exaggerated, and in particular more rude and callous without proper retribution; for comparison, many early episodes had a sort of 'moral correction' in which Homer suffers specifically as a result of his antics. This attitude may have been referenced within the show during a famous clip show, where Troy McClure read a letter from a 'viewer' wondering if Homer has gotten dumber over the course of the show. Ironically, the term comes from Homer's use of the insult jerkass (likely a censor-friendly equivalent to asshole) in previous seasons to refer to annoyingly rude people.

Health issues

Regarding his health, Homer is incredibly lucky to be alive. He once gained an extra 61 pounds on top of his already obese condition to get on disability. He has broken almost every bone in his body and received countless cuts and bruises, both major and minor. Amongst other mishaps, he has blown out his knee; had his thumb cut off; undergone coronary artery bypass surgery (performed by Dr. Nick Riviera); had laser eye surgery; stabbed himself in the eye with a switchblade; had his face caught in a suction hose and nearly lost an eye; had stiches in his eyeballs as a result of a crow attack; put an electric drill through his eye while attempting to make eye-holes through a metal bucket that was glued to his head; had a cigarette put out in his eye; broken his back on the top of a fire hydrant during a fight; been in a coma because a candy machine fell on him; had his jaw wired shut; donated a kidney; had a crayon wedged into, surgically removed from, and wedged back into his brain; been rendered infertile from radiation exposure; suffered repeated back trauma; been run-over by a bicycle; been institutionalized (twice); nearly destroyed his stomach with beer and cannonballs; been forced by his cruel boss Mr. Burns to consume radioactive waste with a spoon; suffered four simultaneous heart attacks; been attacked by a swarm of bees; had his abdominal area torn open by a rabid badger; suffered alcohol poisoning (twice); been pummelled while inside a robot; been crushed by boulders and wrecking balls; been bitten by venomous snakes; electrocuted himself (by both tasers and power lines); set himself on fire numerous times; suffered multiple gunshot wounds; nearly suffocated after a garage door fell on him; had a parasitic butterfly burrow into his skin and enter his skull; fallen off of Springfield gorge (twice within one day); had a drawbridge close on his head; tried to sign an insurance paper while it was going through a shredder; had a window closed on his head; fallen off cliffs, down stairs, and off the roof of the house frequently; been struck in the face, head, and gut in innumerable brawls and fistfights started because of his poor attitude or incompetence; developed mad cow disease from consuming tainted Krusty Burgers; had his heart ripped out; forcibly torn out a behavioural modification chip, causing brain damage; claimed to suffer from haemophilia; temporarily gone blind; been shot in the head four times by a nail gun; been hit by a car driven by Marge Simpson; been beaten up by paramedics the first time he got alcohol poisoning, had the back of his head missing from sharp blades after a self-cleaning house attacked him and had both his arms stuck in vending machines.

Homer's brain is cushioned by a unique and eponymous genetic condition: "Homer Simpson's syndrome." This allowed him to take several consecutive punches without falling over. Moe even trained Homer for boxing (with hobos), although Homer's boxing career ended when he was nearly killed by Drederick Tatum (who is much stronger than a hobo).

Homer also suffers from several congenital conditions – most obviously male pattern baldness, but also a male "Simpson" stupidity gene, finger stubbiness (abnormally short and thick fingers) and the "Simpson butt" (a rather large rear end, which requires him to wear "balloon seated" pants) – which are genetic and which he has passed on to his children. Homer also appears to have far-sighted vision (on occasion), requiring the use of reading glasses when reading a book or newspaper.

Homer stands at 6'0½" (184 cm).

Mental acuity

As widely evidenced, Homer's mind is vacuous, but sprinkled with occasional dense packets of knowledge. He has shown small bursts of astonishing foresight, memory, creativity, and fluency with language (including Japanese, German, Chinese, Spanish, and penguin). He has once posed the question "How come China is communist, and yet I see rudimentary free markets springing up everywhere?" to a bemused Chinese adoption agent. These bursts are almost always temporary, constantly changing, and frequently self-serving. He knows the name of every Ayatollah that has ruled Iran, for example, but only to persuade Marge to let him keep a vulgar T-shirt bearing the logo "Ayatollah Ass-a-hole-a" that she tried to get rid of at a yard sale. He can name several historical Chief Justices of the U.S. Supreme Court, but this may well because one bears the name of a food product (Warren Burger). He once mentioned Frank Lloyd Wright in perfect context while arguing with Lisa, then confessed he has no idea who Wright was. Still another time, while using a knife to pull out a bullet, he identified all the tissue the knife came in contact with. Homer also has a Master's Degree in Nuclear Physics (although he only obtained it the second time around, after cheating the first time).

The nature of this intellect is multi-fold and largely useless as well as transient. He also has musical talent, being able to play the piano. He is also able to touch-type. Much of his mental ability is suppressed by the presence of a wax crayon in the frontal lobe of his brain, the result of a bizarre childhood mishap. Also credited is the Simpson Gene, which almost guarantees that male Simpsons become underachievers. His stupidity may be exacerbated further by excessive alcohol consumption, exposure to radioactive waste, and repetitive cranial trauma. In one episode, Homer acknowledged that his problems with consistency are due to his repeated head injuries (and then went off topic, further proving this).

Homer is inclined to fall into fantasy, often drifting off into his own world (such as riding the nuclear bomb à la Slim Pickens in Dr. Strangelove, and the infamous land of chocolate daydream) or perceiving reality in a more personally appealing manner. Notable are the odd conversations he has with his own brain, typically in an adversarial tone. For example, once he began a conversation with his own mind by declaring "Okay brain, you don't like me and I don't like you...". His liver once spoke to him too, cheering "Yay!" when Homer had been banned from Moe's bar and thus (briefly) depriving him of the ability to drink beer.

Homer is also prone to becoming very emotional, especially when it comes to his neighbors, the Flanders family, or troubles related to his son, Bart. He has rage issues and has been physically and violently abusive, often towards his son, whom he has strangled and even struck on numerous occasions.

Homer also has an IQ of 55, which technically makes him mentally retarded. This was established in the episode "HOMЯ", where Homer says his IQ was raised 50 points, and later on in the episode, he asks if there's any place for a man with a 105 IQ (of course Homer's mathematical abilities, or lack thereof, should be considered when placing stock in such figures).

His mental ability is best summed up by this conversation, held with Marge:
 

Homer: Every time I learn something new, it pushes something old out of my head! Remember when I went on that wine-making course and forgot how to drive?
Marge: That's because you were drunk!
Homer: And how!

Diet

On the food front, Homer is particularly fond of doughnuts (especially LardLad Brand) and pork chops, but also pie, bacon, seafood, American cheese, and especially salt doodles and pork rinds and most of all Duff Beer. He once spent weeks eating a gigantic hoagie long after it went bad, making him deathly ill.

In his gluttony, he has from time to time consumed items that are not necessarily food, such as flowers, Play-Doh, Vaseline, dirt, pure flour, some novelty plastic lobsters from a salad bar, toxic waste, dishwashing liquid, the decorative bride and groom from a wedding cake (which he mistook for candy), a lubricated rubber stopper that had been inserted into his mouth just before receiving electroshock, fancy soaps, a package of dry gravy mix he found in a parking lot, men's slacks and as a bet for 50 dollars with Bart, baking soda from the family refrigerator, that according to Homer, "came with the house". He also once was forced to eat all of the memorabilia attributed to his biker gang, the Hell's Satans. This included a jacket, a hat, frisbees, and ping-pong paddles.

His diet is not a good example to younger viewers and this point is frequently made throughout the series. Homer typically responds to food with copious drool and exuberant postures, or saying "mmm... ______" of whatever food he's about to eat or thinking about (not always necessarily food though). He also has his own experiment called "out of this world moon waffles:" consisting of waffle batter, caramel candy and liquid smoke baked and wrapped around an entire stick of butter.

Homer drinks large quantities of Duff brand beer, both at Moe's Tavern and at home. He has occasionally experimented with Fudd Beer too, when no Duff is available. In his youth Homer apparently drank a brand called "Billy Beer". In one episode he finds a years-old can in the pocket of an old jacket and, of course, drinks it.

Enemies

Homer has garnered more than a few lasting enemies. His next-door neighbor, Christian fundamentalist and super-nice-guy Ned Flanders, has long provoked Homer's seemingly endless rage and hostility, apparently innocuously. Most notable is the deceased Frank "Grimey" Grimes, for whose death Homer was indirectly but intensely responsible. This naturally resulted in the rancour of the aforementioned son, Frank Grimes, Jr. Other adversaries of note include his sisters-in-law Patty and Selma Bouvier, employer C. Montgomery Burns, mobster "Fat Tony," Springfield University Dean Bobby Peterson, president George H. W. Bush, the Emperor of Japan, "The Fat Little Dixie Chick", New York City, PBS, the State of Florida, Sean Hannity, an Inanimate Carbon Rod and a Krusty the Clown killerdoll. Along with the rest of his family, he is banned from every state in the United States, except North Dakota & Arizona, rejecting the latter because of its perceived funny smell.

Sexuality

He has been kissed by at least two other men (his brief personal assistant Karl, and his openly gay temporary housemate in one episode) and has later wondered whether Marge's kiss is the best he has had that day. During his brief career as an artist he paints Lenny and Carl in the showers, unconvincingly claiming that it is for "art." That said, Homer has also displayed mild homophobia complaining that homosexuals have taken all the toughest American names such as "Julian" and attempting to ensure Bart grows up "straight" by taking him on an unsuccessful deer hunt. He has once expressed an unwillingness to enter one gay bar, but only out of self-consciousness for his appearance. In another episode Homer finds Bart and Milhouse dressing up in girls' clothes, and is delighted to discover that it is because they are drunk, rather than gay or transvestite. On the other hand, he has also disco danced at another gay bar with his two gay flatmates, enjoying it so much that he has taken his shirt off and waved it around his head in rhythm with the music, as well as been found in lesbian bar (which he left due to its lack of fire exit). In the episode "Last Exit to Springfield", Homer, who mistakenly believes that Mr. Burns is making sexual advances at him, rejects this by stating: "Sorry, Mr Burns. I don't go in for these backdoor shenanigans. Sure I'm flattered, maybe even a little curious. But the answer is no!"

Name

Homer has gone by many names and aliases. While in the Witness Protection Program, the family assumed the surname "Thompson" (which he had a hard time understanding at first). After a crooked PI framed Lisa for a crime, Homer took the alias "Rock Strongo". When he tried to rent a room, the desk clerk asked for his real name, so Homer instead called himself "Lance Uppercut". Homer legally changed his name to "Max Power" for a time to escape public ridicule. He has also been known by many nicknames, including "Homey," "Homina," "Home-boy," "Colonel Homer," "Dancin' Homer," "Mr. Plow," "Mr. Sparkle," "Hungry, Hungry Homer," "El Homo", the "Brick Hit House," the "Southern Dandy," and "Bottomless Pete, Nature's Cruelest Mistake," among others. He once ran a gossip website under the alias "Mr. X." and briefly became a pie-touting super hero called "The Pie Man," and once owned a false driver's license which stated that he was Brian McGee. "Angry Dad", which was based on Homer, was the name of a internet comic character that was created by Bart. Homer's lack of creativity is on display at the Kwik-E-Mart, where a list of banned check-writers includes the names Homer J. Simpson, Homer S. Simpson, H. J. Simpson, Homor Simpson, and Homer J. Fong. Also known for a time as the "Beer Baron".

Homer's middle name, "Jay," is a tribute by Simpsons creator Matt Groening to the work of cartoon producer Jay Ward, creator of Bullwinkle J. Moose and Rocket J. Squirrel. At one time Homer knew that his middle initial was "J", but did not know what it stood for. The meaning was revealed to him on a mural that had been painted by his hippy mother when he was a child—the joke being that, in speech, "J" is indistinguishable from "Jay". Abe, Homer and Bart all share this middle initial, though not the name. Groening has stated that he named the core of the Simpsons family (except Bart) after members of his own family (Homer was his father's name). He also acknowledges that Homer Simpson happens to be a character in Nathanael West's The Day of the Locust.

Homer also went by the name Elvis Jagger Abdul-Jabbar when he first met Marge, fearing she would lose interest in him if she were to find out his real name.

PIN

Homer Simpson's PIN is 7431. He shouted it out once, and realized too late, then asked everyone to forget it (causing everyone to grab a pen and paper and write it down).

Religion

When it comes to religion Homer can’t seem to make up his mind. He’s presumably been a Protestant (Presbylutheran), hedonist, Born-Again Protestant, Stonecutter, Movementarian (a very thinly-veiled play on Scientology), Muslim, Hindu, and Catholic—and that was just in his late thirties.

At one point, he was the founder and sole adherent of his own religion, albeit only as a stratagem to avoid going to church on Sundays. This also allowed him to avoid going to work on 'religious festivals' such as "The Festival of Maximum Occupany". However, his new religion was short lived; the Simpson house caught fire and he recanted in fear of an angry God.

He also briefly became a Minister after registering on the internet, in order to perform Gay marriages for $200 a time.

Once, he even proclaimed, “Jesus, Allah, Buddha—I love you all!” and “Save me Jebus!” Furthermore, Homer has had many interactions with God himself, and while developing a flat tax proposal, even accidentally proving God doesn’t exist. Furthermore, Homer has extensive knowledge of Iranian theocratic politics and has strong faith in both the presence of Batman and Superman.

Homer also knows that Karma can only be portioned out by the Cosmos, and has demonstrated knowledge of Buddhism (if only to elsewhere display ignorance of the first two noble truths of the Buddha).

Bart once threw a waffle up at the ceiling of the Simpsons' home, and as it was covered in maple syrup it stuck to the ceiling for a considerable period of time. Homer was known to stare upwards at the waffle and shout at "God" as he was looking at it. Marge then explained to him that it wasn't "God", just an old waffle, and pulled it down. Homer then proceeded to commit deicide, which - to his credit - he admitted to be "sacrilegious".

Rap Sheet

Homer has been arrested several times in the duration of the series. Offences range from, speeding, drunk driving, triple-parking in a handicap space and removing an Officer's hat, attempted murder of Mr. Burns, bootlegging, tax fraud, kicking a can five times (illegal transportation of litter), bad parenting and grand theft auto. He has also managed to be incarcerated in three different continents.

Pulling A Homer

The phrase "Pulling a Homer" describes "the act of succeeding despite idiocy", created after Homer, with the push of a button, averted a nuclear meltdown that would have destroyed all of Springfield. However, he didn't actually know which button to push, and picked one randomly using 'eenie, meenie, meinie, moe.'

Musical Predilection

Homer is a great fan of Grand Funk Railroad, Jefferson Airplane, Jefferson Starship and The Alan Parsons Project (which he believes is type of hovercraft) and is usually aghast at others who either don't know or like them. He was once a great fan of Starland Vocal Band, going so far as to get a tattoo to commemorate them, but years later he holds the belief that "they suck!"

Awards & honors

  • First Annual Montgomery Burns Award for Outstanding Achievement in the Field of Excellence, 1992 (after sterilization)
  • Springfield Nuclear Power Plant Toxic Waste Handler of the Month, 1990
  • Springfield Nuclear Power Plant Employee of the Month, 1991 (after saving Springfield from a nuclear meltdown)
  • Springfield Nuclear Power Plant Medal for Bravery, 1995 (after physically plugging a radioactive gas leak)
  • Springfield Nuclear Power Plant Belching Contest Winner, 1995 (award later yielded to Jay Sherman)
  • Springfield Nuclear Power Plant Children's Model-Building Contest, 1997
  • Grammy Award for Outstanding Soul, Spoken Word, or Barbershop Album of the Year, 1987 (Be Sharps)
  • Greaser's Café Dance Contest, 1999
  • Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor, (Dr. Haing S. Ngor or Don Ameche)
  • Springfield Bowling Championship, 1996 (PinPals)
  • P.J. O'Harrigan's "Sir Drinks-A-Lot," 1999
  • Pulitzer Prize for Journalism, 2000 (as "Mr. X")
  • Springfield Olympic Mascot Contest, 1999 (Springy)
  • High school reunion awards: "most weight gained," "most hair lost," "most improved odor," "oldest car," "lowest paying job," and for "travelling the least distance to get to the reunion," among others, 1993 (awards later withdrawn, then presumably re-obtained after Homer received his high school diploma at the end of the episode)
  • Ate the world's largest hoagie at a county fair in 1991 (this experience is mentioned in the Season 3 episode "Colonel Homer" but never actually shown)
  • In a 2003 poll by the BBC, Homer was voted the "Greatest American Ever".
  • In a 2005 poll of "Men's Health" magazine, Homer Simpson was voted top in one of the ten categories of award offered, Philosopher of the Decade.

Family, friends, and enemies

Bonding or little talks with...

  • Bart - building the soapbox racer; when Bart wins the race
  • Bart - After Bart congratulates him ending of the love letter.

Forgetting children

  • Thought he only had two kids, and when told he had three, he said "The dog doesn't count as a kid!"
  • Thinks Maggie is Lisa's best friend

Strangling Bart

  • after Bart spilt his bottle of Dimoxinil
  • after Bart looks Homer in the eye and tells him that he did not steal the church collection money
  • when Bart says he won't even use the bathroom after him.
  • too busy strangling (young) Bart to notice Lisa saying "dada"
  • when he realizes Bart fooled him with a fake radio announcement
  • strangles baby Bart for calling him "Domer" and for flushing his wallet down the toilet
  • when Bart admits to shaking up the beer can
  • after Bart says that Homer double-dared him
  • while Lisa sees the house with binoculars

Correcting Bart or Lisa

  • Bart: "Dad, you're giving in to mob mentality." "No I'm not, I'm hopping on the bandwagon!"
  • "Two wrongs make a right, Lisa."
  • "Lisa, a guy who's got lots of ivory is less likely to hurt Stampy than a guy whose ivory supplies are low."
  • Homer: "I owe it all to this feisty feline". Lisa: "Dad, Feline means cat". Homer: "Elephant honey. It's an elephant!"
  • Homer: "Lisa honey, are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?" Lisa: "No." Homer: "Ham?" Lisa: "No." Homer: "Pork chops?" Lisa: "Dad! Those all come from the same animal!" Homer: "Yeah right Lisa, a wonderful, MAGICAL animal!"
  • Lisa: "Mom! Dad! Mr. Burns is a vampire and he has Bart!" (...) Homer: "Lisa you and your stories... 'Bart is a vampire', 'Beer kills brain cells'... now let's go to that... place... where our... beds and TV... is."
  • Lisa: "Ewww... Dad this is blood!" Homer: "Correction Lisa: Free blood!"

Suggestive snuggling with Marge

  • At the very end of episode
  • at end, in bed with Marge
  • after he learns some new vocabulary
  • while Marge is praying for him
  • Wearing Mr. Plow jacket at end
  • Watching "The erotic adventures of Hercules" ("The Cyclops just tore off my clothes!")

Homer vs. Flanders

  • "Don't try to keep up with the Flandereses"
  • When Chief Wiggum says once a man is in your house you can do what you want to him, so Homer calls Flanders and gets ready to punch him
  • He says, "that life is one defeat after another until you just wish Flanders was dead"
  • plans to hit Ned over the head with a lead pipe and take his football tickets
  • takes part in the race because Flanders takes part too

Drunk Quotes

  • "Wow, I'm in NO condition to drive.... hey wait, I'm drunk, I shouldn't listen to myself!"
  • "You ever see that Blue Man Group? Total rip-off of the Smurfs! And the Smurfs – they suck!"
  • "So I says blue M&M, red M&M, they all wind up the same colour in the end!"
  • "I don't need your sharity. I'll dance for my money!"

Homer Vs. Brain

  • "Okay Brain, it's all up to you now, if you don't think of something, we'll lose Marge forever" Brain:"Eatthepudding eatthepudding eatthepudding..." Homer:"Okay, but then we gotta get to work"
  • (Homer finds $20 under the couch) "Twenty dollars? I wanted a peanut!" Brain: "Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts." Homer: "Explain..." Brain: "Money can be exchanged for goods and services" Homer: "... Woohoo!"
  • Clerk: "What is your reason for joining "Big Brothers"?" Brain: "Don't say revenge, don't say revenge!" Homer: "...erm ...Revenge" Brain: "That's it! I'm outa here!" FX:Brain runs down stairs and slams door
  • Mr. Burns: "Who are you?" Brain: "Don't tell him your name, give him a fake name!" Homer: "Homer Simpson" Brain: "D'oh!" Homer: "D'oh!"
  • (Homer given test) Homer: "Okay Brain, you don't like me, I don't like you. But let just get through this, and I can get back to killing you with beer" Brain: "It's a deal!"

Stupidity Quotes

Homer: Marge, where's that... metal deely... you use to... dig... food..."
Marge: You mean, a spoon?
Homer: Yeah, yeah!
 
(From above the Earth)
Homer: It's beautiful. It's the most awe-inspiring sight I have ever seen. Giver of life, mother of us all...hey guys, look what I smuggled aboard!
[shows a bag of chips]
Buzz Aldrin: Homer, no!
[Homer breaks open bag; chips fly everywhere]
Race Banyon: They'll clog the instruments!
Buzz: Careful! They're ruffled!
Homer: I'll handle this!
[Homer floats around the cabin, eating chips to The Blue Danube]

Marge: "Homer I don't want you stalking Lenny and Carl. It's so... illegal."

Homer: "Okay I'm just going to go out and... stalk... Lenny and Carl... D'oh!"


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